HOW TO MAKE HIM STOP SMOKING
Set your sights very low with this one. We're talking subtle, not sledgehammer. As Fiona Campbell, hypnotherapist and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) consultant, says, "If someone isn't ready to make the first step, all you can really do is point out very subtly the benefits of stopping and make that choice seem delightful. Nagging doesn't work. In fact, the more you go on and on, the more that person is likely to resist."
Keep your eyes peeled for any chink in the smoker's armour. As Campbell continues, "Sometimes people ring up and say, 'I don't want to do anything yet,' but that hesitation means that I can start to identify what fears they have around stopping smoking which is usually a fear of change."
It could also be a fear of failure. "Smokers have a lot of experience of failure," says Robert West, professor of health psychology at UCL.
"About 50 per cent try to give up at least once a year. But what people don't realise is that it doesn't matter if you fail, because sooner or later you're going to succeed. Even if you only stop for a few weeks, at least that's a few weeks without smoking." Suggest to your friend or partner that the next attempt to give up will be even more likely to succeed if he or she uses one of the many nicotine products available, or the new drug varenicline (which was recently approved by NICE).
But until the moment of revelation when the smoker you love finally decides to stop forever, you can best support the whole process, says Professor West, by being "gentle, good-humoured, low-key but persistent".
If your nicotine-obsessed partner admits that he's going to stop smoking one day, but won't specify when, you could try the 'commitment and consistency' approach. Isn't it a bit illogical to have a fag on the go if you've already made a long-term commitment to stop?
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