WHAT'S YOUR ADVICE?: Six experts tackle society's most challenging etiquette dilemmas

What do you do if your best friend's husband's behaviour is inappropriate?
Sally "You tell him off. Immediately and without reservation. Do it privately - take him to one side and don't say a word about it to your friend. In my experience, the only reason he will persist is if you aren't absolutely clear about how unacceptable his behaviour is in the first place."
Ron "Set the boundary but keep the conversation light - in case you haven't read the situation correctly. A simple 'Are you like this with all your wife's friends?' will give him the chance to reflect. If he doesn't respond as you want, come right back with a more stringent boundary you feel comfortable with."
Carole "Tackle this head on, without involving your friend. It's important to nip this sort of behaviour in the bud otherwise it can escalate and be far more difficult to handle. Addressing it while it's not a major issue will keep things in perspective. Adopt a calm stance, one that is neither accusatory nor defensive. Be sure you are clear in your own mind about what it is about his behaviour you consider inappropriate. Make sure you name it clearly and give a direct example of it to him. If it helps, state the emotion you are feeling - say you feel embarrassed/uncomfortable/angry. If you think he's being too tactile, say so, don't call it by any other name. Above all, give him the chance to respond, just in case you have misread his behaviour."

Should you cover for a friend who's having an affair?
Susan "No. And you should be absolutely clear that you won't right from the start. Not only because you'll feel uncomfortable if you do, but also because the web will get very tangled once you've started to weave it. And, if your friend's partner finds out or the affair goes sour, she will almost certainly blame you because, in a situation of such high emotion, she will inevitably need a scapegoat. This is definitely an 'I love you, but...' conversation. It's not good for you, it's not good for her - and your refusal to be implicated might just make her stop and think about what she is doing."
Ruth "I would probably agree to cover her for a small, specified amount of time. I might say, 'Listen, you've got a few weeks to sort yourself out, but that's where it stops.' Affairs make everyone miserable in the long-term, but in the short-term, yes, just so she can work out what she wants."
Mark "You need to understand why they are having the affair before you leap to any conclusions. Before you offer any advice or state your case, look at the cause of her affair and perhaps choose to be supportive rather than damning. If there is general disrespect, a flagrant infidelity for the sake of it, then you'd be within your rights to wash your hands of the situation. But if your friend is unhappy in her existing relationship or is tortured by what is happening, your damnation really isn't what she needs. There are always three sides to the story - two points of view and only one truth."
Ron "I'd probably say yes, but only if it was a very strong friendship in which I had a sincere respect for her. Is the behaviour in keeping with her character? Are you simply aiding and abetting her hedonistic, wild and destructive behaviour or is the affair she's embarked on worthy of more consideration? Think about your friendship first, why you are friends and what this friendship means before you make a decision."

What do you say to someone who never returns a dinner invite?
Susan "Before you say anything, look at the balance of the contribution you each make to the friendship. If she contributes in other ways - loans you her holiday cottage or clothes, or listens to you howl about the break-up of a relationship - then don't say anything. But if you feel you're getting very little from her, you need to think carefully about the message she is clearly sending you about the friendship."
Ruth "Simply never ask them again. But I sympathise because I'm dreadful at dinner invitations. I'm the sort of person who calls at five and says, 'Come round tonight!' or, with a friend who's equally disastrous, I just drop in. Continue inviting people who do return your invites and invest in your friendship in other ways."
Mark "You've got to shock people into it. Some people are just lazy and bad-mannered and, by not returning your invitation, they're conveying a message that deep down they don't need you or your friendship. So start having the most fantastic dinner parties without them - just be sure that they know you're having them - and they'll soon start questioning why they are no longer worthy of an invite."

Should you tell a friend that her skirt's too tight/too short or her top's too low?
Ruth "Yes! I've got a friend who always wears clothes that are too tight. I always tell her, 'You look like a sausage in a skin!' If a girlfriend's wearing a skirt that's too short, I tend to make some sort of light-hearted comment, largely because if I'm thinking it, everyone else is thinking it, too - and she'd only come back at me later with 'Why on earth didn't you tell me?' If she's wearing a low-cut top, I might say, 'Hey, your top's really low, be careful,' but if she replies, 'Yeah, it's cool, isn't it?' then you've made your point and you should just leave it."
Ron "No, I think that's something you just shouldn't get into - unless she looks completely ridiculous. If the way she's dressed is inspiring confidence in her and she thinks she looks great, just leave her be. You'll only sound like you're either a) a killjoy or b) jealous."
Carole "This is a judgment call. Is she going to benefit from you telling her? If friends are talking about her behind her back or people are getting a false idea of her because of what she's wearing, then tell her. Be sure to impress upon her that it's only because your friendship is so strong that you're mentioning it and tell her you'd trust her to do the same for you too. But if it's because you wouldn't wear such a short skirt yourself or because you haven't got the legs for it, then that's just a question of taste or jealousy and you've got to respect that she has her own ideas about what she wants to wear."